Last time, we discussed how 'Sidecars' can throw a huge wrench into your enjoyable game (be it tabletop miniatures, card games, board games, etc).
This leads me to explain why I enjoy gaming at home:
1. No one else is around to comment on, or interrupt, my game. This is great, because I can't stand the 'armchair general.' I know my army looks awesome, and I know I made some tactical errors on nearly every turn. I don't need play-by-play, and your strategic advice is unsolicited. And going beyond that, neither I nor my kid have to learn new words for 'vagina' from the boisterous dude at the other table. I've literally been in a store full of kids where some of the older teenagers had a full-volume conversation about "sluts" they've "fucked in the mouth." 90% of the customers in stores are responsible for giving game stores their dubious, shady reputation, which in turn degrades the value of the products and thusly, sales.
2. The bathrooms are clean. This is a big deal, since 99% of all game store bathrooms carry 99% of most known viruses and bacteria. This includes, but is not limited to, the Hanta virus, Bubonic Monkey blindness, most African mosquito-borne diseases, NM-156, e-coli, and depression.
3. No one is trying to sell me anything. The GW stores excel at this. "Man, you could really use another 10 minotaurs to beef up that unit." No, what I need is to not be made to feel like I owe you something for using your tables and babysitting your bored kids (see #1).
4. Swearing. For me, it's the 'fluff' that enhances the story. I'm respectful enough to not do it in a store full of kids, but on my home turf it's "fuck-all!"
5. Drinking. After the movement and shooting phases, comes the drinking phase. A buddy of mine used to supply a bottle of something for each game. The rule was, we both had a drink at the end of each turn, and we had to finish the bottle by the end of the game. As a result, I have no idea what my lifetime record was against him. By turn 4 of a Warhammer game our bottle of chilled, unfiltered Sakè was halfway gone, and Beastmen and Wood Elves were having a Mardi Gras together on the battlefield. All the models shook hands after the game.
6. I don't have to smell your food. Nothing turns my stomach like the smell of McDonalds which has been congealing and achieving room temperature for 4 hours. At home, we can roll out the grill and throw on some steaks or BBQ chicken. And I won't have strangers wandering over to ask if I'm going to finish my fries (see #1).
7. I can play my own music. And I guarantee my music is better than yours. Honestly, I choose background music to enhance the game, and it adds a certain ambiance that my guests enjoy.
8. It's free. Nothing beats the comfort at home, and I don't have the store staff trying to charge me for the divine privilege of using their plywood table with beat-to-shit terrain consisting of spray painted pop cans and cardboard 'bunkers' that make the battlefield look like downtown Beirut.
All in all, if home-cooked meals made from fresh local ingredients, great-looking terrain, a good soundtrack, clean bathrooms and a wargame-like ambiance sound good to you then come on over!
And bring booze.
All of these comments describe the old Neutral Ground to a T, especially number 2.
ReplyDeleteNote they aren't in business anymore.
ha! my experience has seen dozens of stores that have followed the same suit. it's crazy!
ReplyDeleteI know this is an old post but a good one! It was a great read and very true.
ReplyDeleteWe do something where I live called Cabanahammer. There is a cabana in my commnity that has a pool, fridge, microwave, screened in with fans, bathrooms and a pool. Let's see, in the cooler months here I can play outside, pest free, cook steaks and burgers washing it down with beer. Hrm....